i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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