She went from zero to smokin in five shots
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
