I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
