i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
