i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
