sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
