dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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