I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
