you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
