MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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