so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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