I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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