you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
