We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
And then he peed in my hair
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