I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I am mentally ready for anal.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
