I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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