I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
