I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Brb crying the tears of my youth
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
