Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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