it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Randomize
