i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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