Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
