how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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