I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Randomize
