names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
