is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Randomize
