i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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