no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
