Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
