We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
where are you?
Hypothermia
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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