What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
