So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Randomize
