redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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