i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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