I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
