Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Randomize
