I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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