And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
