as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
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