there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I just had sex on a roof
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I party with great urgency now.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
