VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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