he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
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