I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Randomize
