its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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