New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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