Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
