Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
