things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
