so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
