I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
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