Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
