I wish I could punch you in the face.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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