That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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